I don’t usually go too far into the homeschool topic as my goal was to get my little one back into the school system as my oldest currently is. I have toyed with the idea of homeschooling my oldest as the education in Arizona is not rated high at all. For example, in 5 th grade he watches movies every half day and several times in music class. He rarely has homework. He hasn’t even had a book report! But as he gets older I have not been confident homeschooling is the best option either. At times he seems happy at school and then really upset at times. He is somewhat of a “drama king” so it’s hard to know what school is really like. And the teacher has a limited perspective since they aren’t on the playground.
He is a very handsome boy that is extremely smart and funny. But coming from a parent it doesn’t mean much and the school environment finds anything to tease about. They have teased him about his nostrils for goodness sake! A few kids got on the bandwagon of saying that they are more triangular than round. I don’t think any other human being would have ever even thought that EVER, but kids did. It hurts him and he is not very resilient. But I wasn’t either at that age.
What started all this thoughts of homeschooling again is that yesterday he and his friend got into some trouble that I don’t think either one anticipated the outcome or consequences, but it could have gotten out of hand real quick like. They wanted to go on adventure with backpacks packed and sneaking out. It was more spy and camping oriented than anything else but it still was about sneaking out of the house. He was out of the house with bag packed and over at his friends. Friends parents weren’t there but thankfully friend didn’t answer the knock on his window so he came home. This friend I believed, planned it and my son went along with it. This friend, when he is over, can be bossy and uses physical measures on my son. The friend doesn’t have a lot of other friends and there is some control over my son having others (from what I understand).
When we talk to him about how he feels and what is going on in his life he talks about teasing, bullying, and girl pressure (to have a girlfriend). He feels that no girls will or have ever liked him. Valentines day is always a huge disappointment. He came home on Valentines day very upset and said that this is the 4th year in a row that someone didn’t give him a personal Valentines Day card. (They all have to give the store bought ones to each other but they can buy ones at school for their friends.)
He also has trouble with the constant foul language used. He say it hurts him to hear it but now he is tempted with it. He said it’s like “poison in my heart”. He is having trouble avoiding the temptation and has guilt over it. We tell him we understand and that we are not surprised. We don’t like it but we get the temptation. He still has lots of guilt over it so we pray and he prays.
Even though he is almost always the oldest in his class he seems to let everyone boss him around. He acts like a puppet. At the same time he doesn’t pick his battles and can get on other kids sometimes about things they do wrong. He can be a first born perfectionist. We talk and work with him on his self esteem and bullying. He have done mock bullying for him to practice how to stand up for himself in a Godly way. We have worked on building his confidence, praying to God for help, and doing his devotions in the morning. But when you are at school for a good part of your day it wears you down. Like a person who is at a job with a boss that is critical all day long. At the end of the day you are worn out. As adults we may have more resilience, words, and maturity to handle the situation. How can kids do it?
I know for me and my husband schooling (except for me at college) was NOT an enjoyable experience!!! I would not want to go back and there are still scars from the hurt. I of course have let things go but it’s apart of who you are. God can turn it into a blessing, but I don’t think it’s God’s original design. So I think does it just go away. Are kids better off for having gone through it? Of course you learn from it but are you equipped to handle it?
The last part of my son’s story is that he has been to three different schools since 1st grade. Now for some parts of the country (or generations) this may seem like a lot, but it’s more common here. In first grade he went to a really good academic school but he received detention virtually everyday for his energy level. He is very active and this is the strictness school I have ever seen. We sent to another charter for second, third, and forth and the academics were not as good but it seemed to be a better fit with more arts and dealing with his level of activeness. As the years went on the academics seemed to slide but this is not why we changed schools.
We actually moved him this year as my little one started out at a school near our home that we thought would be a good match for him and his special needs. The kids were on two different schedules. Two different PTA’s, spring breaks, “Christmas” break, and two different start and end times. It was exhausting. Before we pulled the little one for home-schooling we transferred our oldest to the local public school as the neighborhood kids went there and he wanted to go to school with them. This put us on the same calendar and the bus for one would make it easier on pick up.
So now we don’t know what to do. Should we pull our oldest next year to home school? Are we just running away from problems? What if we homeschool; at what point do they go back mainstream? What if it doesn’t work and we all start to go crazy with each other?
Of course I know that many people in public schools will say stay as he needs to learn how to deal with this. Home schooling families will say homeschool. I would like to go beyond just a general statement and figure out the best option for us. We are praying and don’t want to make a snap decision.
So that’s the story got anything for me?