February 28, 2009
Today I am to set aside time for an unexpected call during business. Ok, I am revamping this to having an extra one on one conversation with both kids today.
Yesterdays little gifts went well for my oldest. My youngest may do cartwheels on the inside but never seems impressed with my gifts (or anything I do). He always seems so thankful to others but what we do seems unimportant. It does hurt after awhile. As an example, we were pulling weeds yesterday and I told him I would pay him. I thought $5 would be impressive for a 7 year old. He thought he would get $100 and seemed disappointed. I think wow we never pay for chores I would be thrilled to have an extra $5. Oh well.
We have company today so I will really need to find time to pull the kids without it taking away from company.
Thanks for staying with me in this journey.
Have a “Listening” Day!
February 27, 2009
Posted by realworldmartha under adoption
, special needs child
| Tags: children
, love dare
Today’s “Love Dare” is to purchase a gift.
For those of you catching up, I am doing the “Love Dare”, from Fireproof, on my children rather than my hubby.
Now buying presents is my specialty so this is ok for me. I do like buying presents. I have many on hand. The trick will be to give no matter what they have done today. I am sure satan will try to sabotage this so that I won’t want to give them, but I WILL (so take that satan!).
I also have to keep from any negative comments (the first day challenge stays with me). It’s difficult to teach your children with being negative sometimes. I just keep practicing.
Have a “Gift Filled” Day!
February 26, 2009
Posted by realworldmartha under children
| Tags: adoption
, love dare
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There will be 40 of these???? Ok, so I realized we are not the movie! First two days just ask you to be patient and kind. No problem. Well as I discovered, harder than it appears when you are with them ALL DAY LONG!!!!
I feel like I am realizing just how much I need to shut up. That’s from Day 1.
Today is to combine the patience from Day 1 and display kindness for Day 2. Easy as pie!
My oldest is actually the one I am working harder on right now then my little one. I guess it’s good I am just doing this across the board. But GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH! He has had an extra special personality for me lately.
This morning though I think he knew he was really just making his own life problematic. We all were moving on. He got with the program a little while the little one had messy pants before bed and wet sheets and jammies for me this morning. Now this is not that he can’t get up. This is the same kid stealing from us at night every chance so it’s a choice. My house is constantly smelling and it’s a battle.
For the kindness we went out to lunch. I don’t think they felt like it was any big deal. We did have a good time but I don’t think it was like WOW!
I have noticed that I struggle with conditional treats/activity syndrome. I don’t want to encourage misappropriate behavior so I withhold treats/activities and such but there is a time where they just need to get them no matter if they are good or not. We get blessings from our Heavenly Father even when we are not.
This is a great process as I know the Lord is making me into what He needs me to be. That doesn’t mean it isn’t painful though.
Have a “Painful” Day! (It just may make you into something beautiful!)
February 25, 2009
Have you seen the movie Fireproof? If you haven’t or you haven’t read the Love Dare, let me share a little.
The movie is based on a couple who is struggling in their marriage. They are about to divorce when one is encouraged to do things to show love even though they don’t feel like it, for 40 days.
I really enjoyed the movie but the entire time I really wasn’t thinking of my marriage, I must confess. I am not struggling in this area, right now, although I can always use to work harder. My thoughts really went to the strainned relationship I have with my adopted son.
I went to purchase the book and have felt the Lord wanting me to use this Lent time to reach out and use this with both my children (my oldest is going through a pre-teen time and thought it can’t hurt).
Today is Day 1
I am to have patience. No critical jabs and no nit-picking who knew could be this hard and it’s only 11 am! I just need to be QUIET! I didn’t realize, already, how critical I can be. I see way too much and correct way too much.
I really relate to how he felt that first day he started, in the movie. I am still mad at some past issues so right now I am just mustering God’s strength to Shut Up!
I feel really good about this God assignment. I will keep you posted.
Have an “Unconditional Love” Day!
February 12, 2009
I have a confession to make, I love to finish off the bottle! There is a great feeling when you have the last of it in there, in the evening after the kids are asleep, and you finish it right off.
What is it you ask? Anything. I love finishing it. Now I am not talking hard booze here. I am actually talking about lotions, shampoo, chap-stick, deodorant, oil, salad dressing, ETC.
I hate having these containers around when they have this minuscule amount of product in it. It takes up room and is just plain annoying. When I finally get to finish it off, it’s a sigh of relief. I have finally succeeded. It is gone! Kaput! Time for a celebration dance (ok, too much information).
Am I the only one in this strange ritual? Do you also share in this feeling of accomplishment?
Have a “Finisher Off” Day
February 11, 2009
I recently joined a Bible Study at a church that has a homeschooling group. I figured a little time for them to be around other kids and me to be in a study. Sounds good!! Little did I know just how good.
The study I am in is about parenting teens. My oldest is a pre-teen and I figure I need all the help I can get. The teacher is Susan Cottrell and her book is ‘The Heart Connected Life.For Parents’. I can’t even tell you how much I am enjoying this book, but I’ll try. But first, here is a little bit about her:
I love to write, speak, sing, connect intimately with friends, and I love being with my husband and children.
Nothing on this little round planet compares with living life on the edge by trusting Him every minute.
My favorite thing is to show people who God is, how much He loves them, and that He can do what He says he can do.
I haven’t finished the book but it’s amazing so far. I know it was self-published, so I am really not sure how easy it is to get but I will put up her info as this book is a wonderful resource! (I just checked the website, given below, and it’s available on there to order.)
Although it is written for parents with teens in mind, it is good for anyone that wants to connect with God on a heart level instead of a rule level. You “must” read the tree of knowledge of good/evil. Then you will see why the “must” is in quotes. But if you aren’t a parent you will have to understand that this really is about anyone we are in close relationship with. You can’t change them you have to work on yourself and that starts with a heart for God.
Basically, the book is discussing ways that we need to search our own heart for God’s will for our lives and not the “Christian” List. And then applied that freedom living to parenting. It seems so simple but the book really hits home on so many levels.
The sections in the book covers The Heart of Parenting, Whose Journey Is It?, What’s a Parent To Do, and Staying Heart Connected. In those sections it deals with control, respecting child’s own journey (or others), respect, shame, dating, power of God over law, etc!
A quote, from the book, that echoed in my head today was:
“I have seen my reflection in my children so many times, that now if something is going on in the family, some dynamic, the first thing I look in is the mirror.”
I hope you will find this book. It is really a great read, but make sure God is wanting it for you first 🙂
Have a “Heart Connected” Day
February 10, 2009
Posted by realworldmartha under blessed
, christian mom
, gift giving
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For those of you familiar with this blog you may know that I value volunteering. So I wanted to share some ideas for this Valentine’s Day:
Singles and Married with no Children – Babysit for those that have young children
Married with Young Children – Help the Single Parents
Married with Older Children – Why not go to a Retirement Home or Widow/Widower
Whatever stage of life you are in see if there is a way to reach out to those around you. Send a card or flowers to someone, take them out to eat, offer to babysit, send a single mom for a facial, bake a cake for a neighbor, throw a party for kids in a homeless shelter. Ask around. There are lots of people in need right now. I bet it won’t be hard to find out who to help. And you know what, you will have a heart full of flowers instead of a vase 🙂
Have a “Helping” Day!
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