christian moms


It’s been so sad to not post like I hoped to.  I am still working on the Love Dare with my kids, and I wish I would have done regular updates however it’s been so crazy around here.  I am also doing a study at church on parenting teens (oldest is a pre-teen).  But this study is really for all parents.  Terrific!!!!

One of the thoughts that has struck me while doing both of these things is that, as Christian Parents, we are not to be ‘A’shamed or ‘D’issapointed with our childrens behavior. 

Now here me out if this sounds wrong to you.  God is not disappointed with us.  He disciplines us to get us where he wants us to be but He is never shocked, dissapointed, ashamed, etc!  So if we take on His traits as a Christian, shouldn’t we be the same way?

I always thought that a certain amount of shame, like a Moms look, you know “The Look”, was ok.; we joke about it don’t we?  Really it’s not part of building a child up with unconditional love (agape love).  That doesn’t mean that we won’t discipline a child or let them experience natural consequences, but that there is no shame in screwing up.  And if we all think about it, haven’t we screwed up a time or two ourselves?  So why would we be surprised they do?  Disappointed and shame is just a way of saying I am shocked that you did that cause I never have or would.

Have a “Shockless” Day!

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Yesterday I couldn’t decide if I should go back and try to get missing assignments done or keep going.  I read the days assignment and felt God telling me to do today’s and catch up when I can.  How do I know it was from God?  Because it was hard for me to do it.

The assignment was to have a warm greeting in the morning.  How hard is that?  Well considering my oldest went to bed without even saying goodnight and my little one refuses to use the toilet (this is not a standard bed wetting issue).  I knew that I could get up and greet but do it warmly???

I really tried and it is amazing how much that effort really pays off.  At least for a little while.  My oldest is really struggling in his pre-teen years and is easily set off lately.  I helped him with his math and we were doing great and then he hit a roadblock and that was it for much of the day.  For awhile I was really struggling with my frustration level but God’s peace came over and we just went about our day no matter what he was doing.

My little one seemed to respond with a better gretting.  He is so closed off with his thoughts that you never know.  He is a serious people watcher and doesn’t share much.  I do try to encourage him as he has so many burdens (you can see from his actions) but he isn’t ready. 

Today I am to do a random act for both of them.  I usually make them fold their own laundry because of how they treat it after I fold it, but I did theirs today.  I don’t think they much notice but it changes my heart to do something unexpected with agape love.

Have a “Unconditional Loved” Day!

Yesterday I needed to ask 3 things that I do to irritate the other person.  In this case, my children.  We had company all day so I tried to figure a time for this and really wasn’t able to without it being awkward.  I am going to wait until there is a better time for this one.  And since I am doing both my children I have reduced the request to two each since I don’t wanna be depressed with 6 items about me this is annoying to them.

Today I move on to reacting to challenges in a loving manner.  So far, my oldest had a melt down, in school work, and I didn’t handle it the best.  I get worn out from his quick dissapointment and lack of resilance that I feel annoyed.  I need to work harder on this I see!!!!

I have been assigned to write down a list of areas in which I can add margin in my life (get the book to understand more).  Then I need to list any wrong motivations.  I might need extra paper 🙂

Have a “Work in Progress” Day!

I recently joined a Bible Study at a church that has a homeschooling group.  I figured a little time for them to be around other kids and me to be in a study.  Sounds good!!  Little did I know just how good.

The study I am in is about parenting teens.  My oldest is a pre-teen and I figure I need all the help I can get.  The teacher is Susan Cottrell and her book is ‘The Heart Connected Life.For Parents’.  I can’t even tell you how much I am enjoying this book, but I’ll try.  But first, here is a little bit about her:

I love to write, speak, sing, connect intimately with friends, and I love being with my husband and children. 


Nothing on this little round planet compares with living life on the edge by trusting Him every minute.


My favorite thing is to show people who God is, how much He loves them, and that He can do what He says he can do.

 

I haven’t finished the book but it’s amazing so far.  I know it was self-published, so I am really not sure how easy it is to get but I will put up her info as this book is a wonderful resource!  (I just checked the website, given below, and it’s available on there to order.)

Although it is written for parents with teens in mind, it is good for anyone that wants to connect with God on a heart level instead of a rule level.  You “must” read the tree of knowledge of good/evil.  Then you will see why the “must” is in quotes.   But if you aren’t a parent you will have to understand that this really is about anyone we are in close relationship with.  You can’t change them you have to work on yourself and that starts with a heart for God.

Basically, the book is discussing ways that we need to search our own heart for God’s will for our lives and not the “Christian” List.  And then applied that freedom living to parenting.  It seems so simple but the book really hits home on so many levels.

The sections in the book covers The Heart of Parenting, Whose Journey Is It?, What’s a Parent To Do, and Staying Heart Connected.  In those sections it deals with control, respecting child’s own journey (or others), respect, shame, dating, power of God over law, etc!

A quote, from the book, that echoed in my head today was:

“I have seen my reflection in my children so many times, that now if something is going on in the family, some dynamic, the first thing I look in is the mirror.”

I hope you will find this book.  It is really a great read, but make sure God is wanting it for you first 🙂

www.heartconnectedlife.com

Have a “Heart Connected” Day

So it’s been almost a month.  I am a bad blogger.  With the holidays and learning a new camera I have been a bad girl.

I will do a little run down for you:

– Our 12 days of Christmas was a great success.  We were able to help lots of people and have fun.  Our run down included: Helping a friend in need, donating toys, making cards for Veterans, helping at a Senior center, Salvation Army Angel Tree, wrapping presents for prison fellowship, helping scavenger hunt, random acts of kindness, cookies to those who work on Christmas, neighborhood trash cleanup. 

– We had an amazing Christmas.  And as a bonus I get the Wii Fit which I am so thrilled about.  Boy that thing can work ya!

-I couldn’t stay up for New Years Eve of course.  I am very sleepy lately.

– I am still wondering about homeschooling and everyday I go back and forth.  Heck moment by moment.

– Our little one is having a tough time and it’s been such a challenge to get him the help he needs.  Last night we told me he is still trying to figure out if we are a nice family.  Did I mention it’s been 5 years next month?

Well that’s a little bit of what’s been going on around here.  I am still trying to get my picture thing resolved and that has been a big reason why I have been absent.  I love to add me some pics.  I promise to be more faithful!

Have a “Promising” Day!

One of the days this past week one of our projects fell through.  I guess the organization is no longer running so we doubled up our efforts at the Angel Tree.

We went to our local WalMart and picked 4 names; 3 boys and a girl of course.  It is so sad to see so many tags on them at this point.  Especially when kids are asking for shirts, jackets, and shoes!!!  And I am talking about one kid just asking for one of those not all!!!!!  Imagine what situation they are in to only ask for one shirt.

We ended up getting them what they asked and grabbed a toy and some socks.  It was a little spendy for our situation right now but totally worth it.  How many times do we not even think about spending money on ourselves and these kids are waiting for a coat! 

It was really a good feeling to help them out!  If you get a change go over to an Angel Tree and pick some names up.  Very few were asking for expensive things.

By the way, the other day we had a friend call and gave a terrific present to one of our boys (they don’t know it yet though so it’s top secret.  And while we were coming back from an event we stopped for a treat…pie.  We decided to splurge and it ended up that someone paid for our pie.  Can you believe it??????  What a blessing!!!

Have an “Angel Tree” Day!!!!

I just have to update on our event yesterday. We went to clean out one on the classrooms at our church. Well after finding many old food and other items I went to pick up a piece of pipe cleaner. Guess what? It moved!!!!!!!!! It was a centipede!!!!!! I screamed my head off! I can still feel it grabbing onto my finger. YUCK!!! I am not sure I will recover!!!

Today we went to the local Senior Center to help with their Christmas Party. Everyone was really nice. We didn’t do as much as I hoped as most people were listening to the music and not as much talking with them, but it was a good event. And they wanted to give my kids money. So all the money that they got will go to other events this week.

Have a “Un-Creepy” Day! (Did I mention EWWWWWW!)

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