love


It’s been so sad to not post like I hoped to.  I am still working on the Love Dare with my kids, and I wish I would have done regular updates however it’s been so crazy around here.  I am also doing a study at church on parenting teens (oldest is a pre-teen).  But this study is really for all parents.  Terrific!!!!

One of the thoughts that has struck me while doing both of these things is that, as Christian Parents, we are not to be ‘A’shamed or ‘D’issapointed with our childrens behavior. 

Now here me out if this sounds wrong to you.  God is not disappointed with us.  He disciplines us to get us where he wants us to be but He is never shocked, dissapointed, ashamed, etc!  So if we take on His traits as a Christian, shouldn’t we be the same way?

I always thought that a certain amount of shame, like a Moms look, you know “The Look”, was ok.; we joke about it don’t we?  Really it’s not part of building a child up with unconditional love (agape love).  That doesn’t mean that we won’t discipline a child or let them experience natural consequences, but that there is no shame in screwing up.  And if we all think about it, haven’t we screwed up a time or two ourselves?  So why would we be surprised they do?  Disappointed and shame is just a way of saying I am shocked that you did that cause I never have or would.

Have a “Shockless” Day!

Yesterday I couldn’t decide if I should go back and try to get missing assignments done or keep going.  I read the days assignment and felt God telling me to do today’s and catch up when I can.  How do I know it was from God?  Because it was hard for me to do it.

The assignment was to have a warm greeting in the morning.  How hard is that?  Well considering my oldest went to bed without even saying goodnight and my little one refuses to use the toilet (this is not a standard bed wetting issue).  I knew that I could get up and greet but do it warmly???

I really tried and it is amazing how much that effort really pays off.  At least for a little while.  My oldest is really struggling in his pre-teen years and is easily set off lately.  I helped him with his math and we were doing great and then he hit a roadblock and that was it for much of the day.  For awhile I was really struggling with my frustration level but God’s peace came over and we just went about our day no matter what he was doing.

My little one seemed to respond with a better gretting.  He is so closed off with his thoughts that you never know.  He is a serious people watcher and doesn’t share much.  I do try to encourage him as he has so many burdens (you can see from his actions) but he isn’t ready. 

Today I am to do a random act for both of them.  I usually make them fold their own laundry because of how they treat it after I fold it, but I did theirs today.  I don’t think they much notice but it changes my heart to do something unexpected with agape love.

Have a “Unconditional Loved” Day!

Have you seen the movie Fireproof?  If you haven’t or you haven’t read the Love Dare, let me share a little. 

The movie is based on a couple who is struggling in their marriage.  They are about to divorce when one is encouraged to do things to show love even though they don’t feel like it, for 40 days.

I really enjoyed the movie but the entire time I really wasn’t thinking of my marriage, I must confess.  I am not struggling in this area, right now, although I can always use to work harder.  My thoughts really went to the strainned relationship I have with my adopted son.

I went to purchase the book and have felt the Lord wanting me to use this Lent time to reach out and use this with both my children (my oldest is going through a pre-teen time and thought it can’t hurt). 

Today is Day 1

I am to have patience.  No critical jabs and no nit-picking who knew could be this hard and it’s only 11 am!  I just need to be QUIET!  I didn’t realize, already, how critical I can be.  I see way too much and correct way too much.

I really relate to how he felt that first day he started, in the movie.  I am still mad at some past issues so right now I am just mustering God’s strength to Shut Up!

I feel really good about this God assignment.  I will keep you posted.

Have an “Unconditional Love” Day!

I am 38; is that when your mid-life crisis begins? 

Ok, actually I haven’t done anything drastic, but I have noticed a change in my thinking lately.  My oldest is going to be 13 this year.  My hubby turns 40.  We will celebrate our 15th year wedding anniversary. 

As my children grow, as well as other events, I start to realize just how important it is to enjoy the “Season of Life” I am in.  Kids coming over to play, cooking meals for a family, even being busy.  I say that not to encourage busyness but to enjoy being able to go around like crazy and burning a few calories while doing so. 

If this is 38, who knows what I am going to be doing in the next few years as the Seasons begin to change.

What season of life are you in?  Are you enjoying it?

Have a “Seasoned” Day!

You’ll be surprised to find out who this is…

 

KURTIS THE STOCK BOY
AND
BRENDA THE CHECKOUT GIRL

In a supermarket, Kurtis the stock boy, was busily working when a new voice came over the loud speaker asking for a carry out at register 4.  Kurtis was almost finished, and wanted to get some fresh air, and decided to answer the call. As he approached the check-out stand a distant smile caught his eye, the new check-out girl was beautiful.  She was an older woman (maybe 26, and he was only 22) and he fell in love.

Later that day, after his shift was over, he waited by the punch clock to find out her name. She came into the break room, smiled  softly at him, took her card and punched out, then left.  He looked at her card, BRENDA.  He walked out only to see her start walking up the road.  Next day, he waited outside as she left the supermarket, and offered her a ride home. He looked harmless enough, and she accepted.  When he dropped her off, he asked if maybe he could see her again, outside of work.  She simply said it wasn’t possible.

He pressed and she explained she had two children and she couldn’t afford a baby-sitter, so he offered to pay for the baby-sitter.  Reluctantly she accepted his offer for a date for the following Saturday.  That Saturday night he arrived at her door only to have her tell him that she was unable to go with him. The baby-sitter had called and canceled. To which Kurtis simply said, “Well, let’s take the kids with us.”

She tried to explain that taking the children was not an option, but again not taking no for an answer, he pressed.  Finally Brenda, brought him inside to meet her children.  She had an older daughter who was just as cute as a bug, Kurtis thought, then Brenda brought out her son, in a wheelchair.  He was born a paraplegic with Down Syndrome.

Kurtis asked Brenda, “I still don’t understand why the kids can’t come with us?”  Brenda was amazed. Most men would run away from a woman with two kids, especially if one had disabilities – just like her first husband and father of her children had done.  Kurtis was not ordinary – – – he had a different mindset.

That evening Kurtis and Brenda loaded up the kids, went to dinner and the movies. When her son needed anything Kurtis would take care of him.  When he needed to use the restroom, he picked him up out of his wheelchair, took him and brought him back.  The kids loved Kurtis.  At the end of the evening, Brenda knew this was the man she was going to marry and spend the rest of her life with.

A year later, they were married and Kurtis adopted both of her children. 
Since then they have added two more kids. (Actually I believe they have 7 now)

So what happened to Kurtis the stock boy at a grocery store in  Cedar Falls/Waterloo, IA and Brenda the check-out girl?  Well, Mr. & Mrs. Kurt Warner now live in Arizona , where he is currently employed as the quarterback of the National Football League Arizona Cardinals and has his Cardinals in the hunt for a possible appearance in the Super Bowl.  Is this a surprise ending or could you have guessed that he was not an ordinary person.

It should be noted that he also quarterbacked the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI. He has also been the NLF’s Most Valuable Player twice and the Super Bowl’s Most Valuable Player.

Today we have a new President.  The first African American President and history was made.  Despite differences, I am excited that our country took this stand.  I was glad to watch this history with my children and they will be able to remember this moment their children will read about.

I also have been thinking of this year for our family.  This year will be the fifth year anniversary of our youngest son placed in our home, our oldest will become an official teenager, my hubby will turn 40, and it will be our 15th wedding anniversary.  WOW!  It’s an exciting and changing time for us.

I am excited about this coming year.  Only time will tell what will happen, but I do know that it’s all flowing through the hand of God!

What does this year hold for you?  Do you see any big changes up ahead?

Have a “Changing” Day!

For those of you who have been reading for awhile, you may remember my 2007 12 Days of Christmas posts.  For those new, let me explain.

Our family celebrates the 12 Days of Christmas (prior to Christmas) by donating, serving, and/or volunteering on each day.  We pick different things for each day like wrapping gifts for the homeless or helping a friend in need.

Well tonight we will narrow down our choices and will be starting this weekend.  I hope you will join us.  If not for all 12 days, choose one.  Your children will get a LOT out of it!  My kids pass by the nursing home that we served homemade cookies to last year and always remember the residents there.  Even when we don’t pass by they still talk about all the wonderful things they were able to do.  It also gets all away from the “gimmes”.

Have a “Giving” Day!

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