It’s been so sad to not post like I hoped to.  I am still working on the Love Dare with my kids, and I wish I would have done regular updates however it’s been so crazy around here.  I am also doing a study at church on parenting teens (oldest is a pre-teen).  But this study is really for all parents.  Terrific!!!!

One of the thoughts that has struck me while doing both of these things is that, as Christian Parents, we are not to be ‘A’shamed or ‘D’issapointed with our childrens behavior. 

Now here me out if this sounds wrong to you.  God is not disappointed with us.  He disciplines us to get us where he wants us to be but He is never shocked, dissapointed, ashamed, etc!  So if we take on His traits as a Christian, shouldn’t we be the same way?

I always thought that a certain amount of shame, like a Moms look, you know “The Look”, was ok.; we joke about it don’t we?  Really it’s not part of building a child up with unconditional love (agape love).  That doesn’t mean that we won’t discipline a child or let them experience natural consequences, but that there is no shame in screwing up.  And if we all think about it, haven’t we screwed up a time or two ourselves?  So why would we be surprised they do?  Disappointed and shame is just a way of saying I am shocked that you did that cause I never have or would.

Have a “Shockless” Day!

Yesterday I couldn’t decide if I should go back and try to get missing assignments done or keep going.  I read the days assignment and felt God telling me to do today’s and catch up when I can.  How do I know it was from God?  Because it was hard for me to do it.

The assignment was to have a warm greeting in the morning.  How hard is that?  Well considering my oldest went to bed without even saying goodnight and my little one refuses to use the toilet (this is not a standard bed wetting issue).  I knew that I could get up and greet but do it warmly???

I really tried and it is amazing how much that effort really pays off.  At least for a little while.  My oldest is really struggling in his pre-teen years and is easily set off lately.  I helped him with his math and we were doing great and then he hit a roadblock and that was it for much of the day.  For awhile I was really struggling with my frustration level but God’s peace came over and we just went about our day no matter what he was doing.

My little one seemed to respond with a better gretting.  He is so closed off with his thoughts that you never know.  He is a serious people watcher and doesn’t share much.  I do try to encourage him as he has so many burdens (you can see from his actions) but he isn’t ready. 

Today I am to do a random act for both of them.  I usually make them fold their own laundry because of how they treat it after I fold it, but I did theirs today.  I don’t think they much notice but it changes my heart to do something unexpected with agape love.

Have a “Unconditional Loved” Day!

Today I am to set aside time for an unexpected call during business.  Ok, I am revamping this to having an extra one on one conversation with both kids today.

Yesterdays little gifts went well for my oldest.  My youngest may do cartwheels on the inside but never seems impressed with my gifts (or anything  I do).  He always seems so thankful to others but what we do seems unimportant.  It does hurt after awhile.  As an example, we were pulling weeds yesterday and I told him I would pay him.  I thought $5 would be impressive for a 7 year old.  He thought he would get $100 and seemed disappointed.  I think wow we never pay for chores I would be thrilled to have an extra $5.  Oh well.

We have company today so I will really need to find time to pull the kids without it taking away from company.

Thanks for staying with me in this journey.

Have a “Listening” Day!

Today’s “Love Dare” is to purchase a gift.

For those of you catching up, I am doing the “Love Dare”, from Fireproof, on my children rather than my hubby. 

Now buying presents is my specialty so this is ok for me.  I do like buying presents.  I have many on hand.  The trick will be to give no matter what they have done today.  I am sure satan will try to sabotage this so that I won’t want to give them, but I WILL (so take that satan!).

I also have to keep from any negative comments (the first day challenge stays with me).  It’s difficult to teach your children with being negative sometimes.  I just keep practicing.

Have a “Gift Filled” Day!

There will be 40 of these????  Ok, so I realized we are not the movie!  First two days just ask you to be patient and kind.  No problem.  Well as I discovered, harder than it appears when you are with them ALL DAY LONG!!!! 

I feel like I am realizing just how much I need to shut up.  That’s from Day 1. 

Today is to combine the patience from Day 1 and display kindness for Day 2.  Easy as pie!

My oldest is actually the one I am working harder on right now then my little one.  I guess it’s good I am just doing this across the board.  But GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH!  He has had an extra special personality for me lately. 

This morning though I think he knew he was really just making his own life problematic.  We all were moving on.  He got with the program a little while the little one had messy pants before bed and wet sheets and jammies for me this morning.  Now this is not that he can’t get up.  This is the same kid stealing from us at night every chance so it’s a choice.  My house is constantly smelling and it’s a battle. 

For the kindness we went out to lunch.  I don’t think they felt like it was any big deal.  We did have a good time but I don’t think it was like WOW! 

I have noticed that I struggle with conditional treats/activity syndrome.  I don’t want to encourage misappropriate behavior so I withhold treats/activities and such but there is a time where they just need to get them no matter if they are good or not.  We get blessings from our Heavenly Father even when we are not.

This is a great process as I know the Lord is making me into what He needs me to be.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t painful though.

Have a “Painful” Day!  (It just may make you into something beautiful!)

One of the days this past week one of our projects fell through.  I guess the organization is no longer running so we doubled up our efforts at the Angel Tree.

We went to our local WalMart and picked 4 names; 3 boys and a girl of course.  It is so sad to see so many tags on them at this point.  Especially when kids are asking for shirts, jackets, and shoes!!!  And I am talking about one kid just asking for one of those not all!!!!!  Imagine what situation they are in to only ask for one shirt.

We ended up getting them what they asked and grabbed a toy and some socks.  It was a little spendy for our situation right now but totally worth it.  How many times do we not even think about spending money on ourselves and these kids are waiting for a coat! 

It was really a good feeling to help them out!  If you get a change go over to an Angel Tree and pick some names up.  Very few were asking for expensive things.

By the way, the other day we had a friend call and gave a terrific present to one of our boys (they don’t know it yet though so it’s top secret.  And while we were coming back from an event we stopped for a treat…pie.  We decided to splurge and it ended up that someone paid for our pie.  Can you believe it??????  What a blessing!!!

Have an “Angel Tree” Day!!!!

So yesterday my little one asked what does Noel mean, and I stood there.  I had to think about it.  Then came Wikipedia.  Sad but true.  So do you know?  Or have you had one of those moments too?