New Address

Come and check out our new blog at

http://www.salvagesisterandmister.com

It’s a blog, with hubby, with a mission to make the most with what you have.

Come and join us!!

 

The ‘D’ and ‘A’ Words!

It’s been so sad to not post like I hoped to.  I am still working on the Love Dare with my kids, and I wish I would have done regular updates however it’s been so crazy around here.  I am also doing a study at church on parenting teens (oldest is a pre-teen).  But this study is really for all parents.  Terrific!!!!

One of the thoughts that has struck me while doing both of these things is that, as Christian Parents, we are not to be ‘A’shamed or ‘D’issapointed with our childrens behavior. 

Now here me out if this sounds wrong to you.  God is not disappointed with us.  He disciplines us to get us where he wants us to be but He is never shocked, dissapointed, ashamed, etc!  So if we take on His traits as a Christian, shouldn’t we be the same way?

I always thought that a certain amount of shame, like a Moms look, you know “The Look”, was ok.; we joke about it don’t we?  Really it’s not part of building a child up with unconditional love (agape love).  That doesn’t mean that we won’t discipline a child or let them experience natural consequences, but that there is no shame in screwing up.  And if we all think about it, haven’t we screwed up a time or two ourselves?  So why would we be surprised they do?  Disappointed and shame is just a way of saying I am shocked that you did that cause I never have or would.

Have a “Shockless” Day!

 

May I Interrupt?

I am still in the middle of my Love Dare however I wanted to share this with you:

I am a member of BzzAgent.  With BzzAgent I am able to test products and give reviews.  I have been able to test many different products and it’s been great.

Last night, my family and I were treated with a special dinner.  We were able to test some of Chili’s Guiltless Grill menu items.  Let me be the first to say YUMMY!!!

We got 4 free certificates, two of which we used last night.  We tried the Grilled Salmon and the Carne Asada.  Both entrees came with veggies.  The steak was extra flavorful!!!  I am not a big fish eater but everyone else is and they thought is was very tasty. 

Since I love veggies, I would have liked a bigger selection of vegetables.  There was only broccoli and shredded carrots on what we were served.  I did like that they were clean (no extra sauces and butter to add to the calories).

It was so nice to be able to have a dinner out that you didn’t feel bad about eating.  And the service was terrific!!!

I hope you get a chance to try them.  I would highly recommend the Steak!!!!

Have a “Yummy” Day!

 

Love Dare Days ????

Yesterday I couldn’t decide if I should go back and try to get missing assignments done or keep going.  I read the days assignment and felt God telling me to do today’s and catch up when I can.  How do I know it was from God?  Because it was hard for me to do it.

The assignment was to have a warm greeting in the morning.  How hard is that?  Well considering my oldest went to bed without even saying goodnight and my little one refuses to use the toilet (this is not a standard bed wetting issue).  I knew that I could get up and greet but do it warmly???

I really tried and it is amazing how much that effort really pays off.  At least for a little while.  My oldest is really struggling in his pre-teen years and is easily set off lately.  I helped him with his math and we were doing great and then he hit a roadblock and that was it for much of the day.  For awhile I was really struggling with my frustration level but God’s peace came over and we just went about our day no matter what he was doing.

My little one seemed to respond with a better gretting.  He is so closed off with his thoughts that you never know.  He is a serious people watcher and doesn’t share much.  I do try to encourage him as he has so many burdens (you can see from his actions) but he isn’t ready. 

Today I am to do a random act for both of them.  I usually make them fold their own laundry because of how they treat it after I fold it, but I did theirs today.  I don’t think they much notice but it changes my heart to do something unexpected with agape love.

Have a “Unconditional Loved” Day!

 

Confession

Well between having company, getting over being sick, my little one’s birthday today, and the normal stuff of life I have not been as up to date on this as I need to be.  I have gotten behind and feel a little overwhelmed. 

I am reading each day’s assignment and it’s in my head when situations come up although not always used.  I believe that I am moving in a positive direction and taking little steps is better than nothing.

Today is my little ones birthday.  We went and got some donuts and I am trying to really not get on him for anything. 

Have a “Catch Up” Day!

 

Love Dare Day 4 and 5

Yesterday I needed to ask 3 things that I do to irritate the other person.  In this case, my children.  We had company all day so I tried to figure a time for this and really wasn’t able to without it being awkward.  I am going to wait until there is a better time for this one.  And since I am doing both my children I have reduced the request to two each since I don’t wanna be depressed with 6 items about me this is annoying to them.

Today I move on to reacting to challenges in a loving manner.  So far, my oldest had a melt down, in school work, and I didn’t handle it the best.  I get worn out from his quick dissapointment and lack of resilance that I feel annoyed.  I need to work harder on this I see!!!!

I have been assigned to write down a list of areas in which I can add margin in my life (get the book to understand more).  Then I need to list any wrong motivations.  I might need extra paper 🙂

Have a “Work in Progress” Day!

 

Love Dare – Day 4

Today I am to set aside time for an unexpected call during business.  Ok, I am revamping this to having an extra one on one conversation with both kids today.

Yesterdays little gifts went well for my oldest.  My youngest may do cartwheels on the inside but never seems impressed with my gifts (or anything  I do).  He always seems so thankful to others but what we do seems unimportant.  It does hurt after awhile.  As an example, we were pulling weeds yesterday and I told him I would pay him.  I thought $5 would be impressive for a 7 year old.  He thought he would get $100 and seemed disappointed.  I think wow we never pay for chores I would be thrilled to have an extra $5.  Oh well.

We have company today so I will really need to find time to pull the kids without it taking away from company.

Thanks for staying with me in this journey.

Have a “Listening” Day!

 

Day 2

There will be 40 of these????  Ok, so I realized we are not the movie!  First two days just ask you to be patient and kind.  No problem.  Well as I discovered, harder than it appears when you are with them ALL DAY LONG!!!! 

I feel like I am realizing just how much I need to shut up.  That’s from Day 1. 

Today is to combine the patience from Day 1 and display kindness for Day 2.  Easy as pie!

My oldest is actually the one I am working harder on right now then my little one.  I guess it’s good I am just doing this across the board.  But GOD GIVE ME STRENGTH!  He has had an extra special personality for me lately. 

This morning though I think he knew he was really just making his own life problematic.  We all were moving on.  He got with the program a little while the little one had messy pants before bed and wet sheets and jammies for me this morning.  Now this is not that he can’t get up.  This is the same kid stealing from us at night every chance so it’s a choice.  My house is constantly smelling and it’s a battle. 

For the kindness we went out to lunch.  I don’t think they felt like it was any big deal.  We did have a good time but I don’t think it was like WOW! 

I have noticed that I struggle with conditional treats/activity syndrome.  I don’t want to encourage misappropriate behavior so I withhold treats/activities and such but there is a time where they just need to get them no matter if they are good or not.  We get blessings from our Heavenly Father even when we are not.

This is a great process as I know the Lord is making me into what He needs me to be.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t painful though.

Have a “Painful” Day!  (It just may make you into something beautiful!)

 

The Love Dare

Have you seen the movie Fireproof?  If you haven’t or you haven’t read the Love Dare, let me share a little. 

The movie is based on a couple who is struggling in their marriage.  They are about to divorce when one is encouraged to do things to show love even though they don’t feel like it, for 40 days.

I really enjoyed the movie but the entire time I really wasn’t thinking of my marriage, I must confess.  I am not struggling in this area, right now, although I can always use to work harder.  My thoughts really went to the strainned relationship I have with my adopted son.

I went to purchase the book and have felt the Lord wanting me to use this Lent time to reach out and use this with both my children (my oldest is going through a pre-teen time and thought it can’t hurt). 

Today is Day 1

I am to have patience.  No critical jabs and no nit-picking who knew could be this hard and it’s only 11 am!  I just need to be QUIET!  I didn’t realize, already, how critical I can be.  I see way too much and correct way too much.

I really relate to how he felt that first day he started, in the movie.  I am still mad at some past issues so right now I am just mustering God’s strength to Shut Up!

I feel really good about this God assignment.  I will keep you posted.

Have an “Unconditional Love” Day!

 

It is Finished!

I have a confession to make, I love to finish off the bottle!  There is a great feeling when you have the last of it in there, in the evening after the kids are asleep, and you finish it right off. 

What is it you ask?  Anything.  I love finishing it.  Now I am not talking hard booze here.  I am actually talking about lotions, shampoo, chap-stick, deodorant, oil, salad dressing, ETC. 

I hate having these containers around when they have this minuscule amount of product in it.  It takes up room and is just plain annoying.  When I finally get to finish it off, it’s a sigh of relief.  I have finally succeeded.  It is gone! Kaput!  Time for a celebration dance (ok, too much information).

Am I the only one in this strange ritual?  Do you also share in this feeling of accomplishment?

Have a “Finisher Off” Day